I asked my mom on the plane a few days ago if maybe Ed would transform and decide to help me in my recovery process. I said “Ed wants me to go to India. If he changes, I think I could probably forgive him.” I would rather forgive someone than kill them (the alternative option). “Sometimes,” my mom said, “forgiveness is not an option and in this case, he will never transform. He is not a regular person.”
Because I think of Ed as a person, I can’t even begin to fathom the idea of killing him. Killing him? Doesn’t that seem a little extreme? People can change. I want Ed to change. I’ve always been known to please Ed and if he wants me better, then I can continue pleasing him and we can start fighting towards the same cause.
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