Common Misconceptions (Or maybe just misconceptions I had)

These are the things Ed convinced me of or that I thought last semester.

We only lose weight in the places we want to lose weight.

We can control Ed.

We don’t lose muscle, just fat.

You will be happy with your weight and how you look after you lose a couple of pounds.

Being thin will solve all other problems in your life.

You are gaining control by restricting or purging.

Nothing wrong/bad will ever happen to you or your body because you’ll never get to ‘that point’ and you’ll stop before you do.

People will judge you if they know that you have an eating disorder so it’s better not to tell anyone.

I’m fine because I’ve only been restricting for a few months.

Getting help is a sign that you can’t control yourself and is a sign of weakness.

Eating normal amounts will make you fat.

Hell at the Dinner Table

When I first arrived home, the dinner table was the last place on Earth I wanted to be. I had to face the most terrible, scary, and horrific thing: food. No one could force me to eat, until December 23. Family dinners were no longer the enjoyable, relaxing, debriefing part of the day, but a time of tears, fears, and misery. My days were spent anticipating and dreading meals, recalling the constant pain I had with each bite.

The main struggles were:

Stomach pain

Dizziness

Headache

Lethargy

Grumpiness

Super emotional

Thinking of how much weight I was gaining with every bite (that’s a lot of time spent thinking about food, although I was used to this from the previous months)

The good news is that most of the symptoms only lasted a few months. Once my body was used to regulating and digesting food, a lot of aspects improved. It just took a lot of patience and motivation. The more weight I gained, the less pain I had. Soon I was able to eat 4000+ calories a day (which is crucial for any weight gain).