Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Back to School

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 After a successful trip to Europe, I have 2 weeks to recuperate before returning to school. My worries are diminishing as my faith in myself is increasing. I think I can do it. I can cook and feed myself in the company of friends. I can say ‘no’ to extra jobs that I don’t have time for. I can control the amount of exercise I do. All the months of Maudsley therapy have come down to this. This is what I have worked towards. This is my ultimate goal: returning to the once treasured and loved college campus. I will no longer have the posters in my new room with quotes like “I am worth being healthy for” and “If you hear a voice within you say ‘You can’t paint,’ then paint, and that voice will be heard.” But I know they will still apply.
I know continuing in my recovery will be hard at times. Because of Ed. There will be times I forget the importance of eating frequently, when Ed will convince me that food is not necessary, but I can fight him. I know he’s wrong. I am creating a support network at school so I won’t be alone. Now is my time to shine. I hope I don’t let anyone down.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Media



How can I convince myself that eating full fat foods are best and healthiest when I am surrounded by media implying that I should feel guilty for wanting meals containing normal amounts of calories?

My mom and I were shopping at my favorite grocery store, Trader Joe’s when we stumbled across some ‘reduced guilt potato chips,’ composed mainly of air (literally, they bragged about that). Why would we pay money for air? Because for people who love chips, an entire packet is only 330 calories. Seems amazing! We proceeded to find multiple lines of food that reduce guilty feelings. Maybe there should be a line called ‘feel guilty foods.’ Obviously, that would never sell. Food should not be tied to our emotional state, because we need it to survive. That’s it. End of story.